Picture of True Love Birds in perfect harmony :-)x; with permission (c) Paul Ward, www.coolantarctica.com
Synopsis: The follow up to, "The Lonely Goatherd," Isaac's Valentine's' Day article last year; an insightful look at relationships and the lessons to be learned from our elders...
...In my Valentine’s Day Special last year, “The Lonely Goatherd,” I spoke of my wonderful affection for beautiful Modern Day Maria and how the simplest of things can be the most precious of things. I also explored some of the ways in which the singletons among us can project our amorous vibes to ensnare our dancing partner of the past, present and future; your Happy Feet seducer who courted with the Estampie in the Middle Ages, The Waltz in Regency times, Two-Stepping hand-in-hand and being ever so careful not to tread on each other’s toes in the early 20th Century and Dirty Dancing to today’s Hip Hop and Gangnam style beat.
Their gentle ways, which take your heart to a galloping frenzy with tingles running amok, as their caress ignites shivers flowing through the spine; breathing rhythmically deep and shallow and orgasms explore mind and body and penetrates your twinned souls.
That one person whose very wisdom and wonderful words create a sonnet of beauty and inspiration that leave us brimming with adrenaline pumped anticipation, as if we were hardwired to a defibrillator. The person you dream of as a child to come and rescue you and then meet them one Friday evening 30 years later seemingly by chance (or via a risqué dating ad!), but in reality by design and becomes the one who sets you alight like a forest fire on a cold winter’s day.
This is the dream that I am sure most would like to believe in... And in my previous Valentine’s article I recanted the beautiful story of the handsome Goatherd who yodelled and danced his way into his dainty, blonde pig-tailed, soul mates heart.
But it isn’t just us humans who can sing and dance our way into the hearts of our one True Love. The Goatherds’ goats would dance and sing in tune with their master, whilst in springtime the skies are filled with the joyous notes of birds tweeting for their loved one and Adelie and Emperor Penguins sing for their one True mate in time with the Mumble shuffle. It is as if their special cries are encrypted, which can only be decoded by their lifetime Happy Feet partner – the penguin whom they have fished together in the icy cold waters of the Antarctic for centuries past x.
And today may pull at many a heartstring in the realisation this is what Life should be all about. Not materialistic things, money or status but depth of being and ultimate Joy and Love with your one True Soul Mate from which all possibilities flows; where their simply spoken “Hi” makes the day picture perfect, such that only a Master as Picasso could possibly capture the full illumination that rejoices within your conjoined beings.
I am fortunate that I always felt (knew) from when I was a child - that one day I would meet this most stunning, warm-hearted and courageous of women, Maria, as I have characterised her on this blog after the magical Julie Andrews’ Maria from the Sound of Music (see "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?"), and that she would change my life forever - and indeed she has definitely done that! She has taught me many things and showed me who I am in this world and why I exist (see "Naked Fishes"). Then the Sarayiah parable goes, we build a new and very special life together, breeding magic in Happy Feet tapping, twirling bliss… Similar to how the two David’s, Copperfield and Blaine, cast beauty and mystique over their craft or how Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers set the world alive with their poetry in motion, so will we with our own brand of magic and touch souls and bring Hope, Love and Happiness to the lives of many in this world.
However, Life of course is never that simple and readers will also know of the terrible plight that was to befall our relationship and which has yet to be righted – even though I am making a stand of grandiose proportions to help us bring this about. Life is too short and every-day the world drums that into our conscience (see "Scream and Shout" or look out the window!) and if two people can be ‘beyond belief’ happy in every conscionable way, then regardless of the mistake of the past - as long as the foundations are solid – and with us they are supported by rare titanium beams and laughter inducing orgasmic love-making , then the possibilities are only limited by the extent of our combined imaginations. Just like building a house - if built on shaky ground a collapse is inevitable, but if the foundations are of high quality, the house will last the test of time and indeed can be rebuilt stronger and grander than before should a tornado or earthquake shatter its outer shell.
Alas, many people build their houses on dead or unstable ground with the inevitable consequences of crushed relationships and marriages (see "The Naked Countess - Interview Exclusive").
As I sourced inspiration for this article whilst indulging on sticky toffee pudding and vanilla ice cream at the Country Style pub, “The Old Bull and Bush” in Hampstead, NW London, UK last week, I was ambushed by pensioners belonging to the NWJS – the “North West Jewish Singles” - a dating club for those over 60 and who… are Jewish! Sadrine, the organiser, a slim blonde sporting a rather fetish leopard skin dress, insisted they sit with me on the table I had monopolised with my laptop and Hilfiger yellow and blue reversible jacket. It was to be a small turnout this week allegedly for their group and despite not being as old as the wonderful Maria - who is a mindboggling 15441 days young today - I fitted in well with my elders.
Amongst this insightful dating group was Tony, a moustached pensioner still teaching French and Spanish and who loves to tell jokes (and as I was to find out - most of them not very funny!); and joining later on in the evening was Geoff, seemingly the eldest of the present members (apologies if that was not the case Geoff!), and a remarkable man who used to be in the Royal Air-force (RAF), is a pilot (where until recently had his own plane), as well as a retired Doctor.
Apart from Sadrine, there were to be no other female members of the group that evening joining ‘my’ table, but the few members of the NWJS who had braved the intermittent hailstorms that day all had a story to tell and I listened intently, as we can all learn from the wisdom and life experiences of our elders.
There was one clear common denominator in their life stories and that being they were all alone and empty inside; heartbroken from previous failed relationships. They had been married at least once (twice being the mean) and failed to understand how I had managed to stay clear of marriage at my age!, they all seemingly had money, a nice home etc., but I postulated they would give all of that up and go and live in a caravan if needs be, just to be with their one pure love, to be Truly Happy and at Peace within. They were all struggling to come to terms with life alone and living with the pain and the mistakes of the past.
Tony was clearly still in love with his ex-wife of his second marriage and I felt his anguish when he spoke of her. They had been married for ten years, but in truth the marriage ended probably 6 years into that 10, with the rest being a slow train crash. It started off great he tells me and their love-making was wonderful, but over time they took each other for granted and communication of their feelings etc. fell by the wayside and sex became fantasy only.
The trigger for the end of their marriage came when Tony’s ex-wife discovered something in his past which he had not shared with her and which event had occurred a couple of years before they met. He says it didn’t affect their relationship or marriage per se, but because he had not disclosed it she felt she could no longer trust him – even though she knew his very essence - and of course if you have no trust then there is no relationship. The foundations for any relationship built on a lack of trust are non-existent.
Their marriage ended about 3 years back now and I quizzed Tony in-depth on his relationship and about this. He had never lied about it – whether he had lied on other things I don’t know (or whether she had ever lied to him), but on this he assured me he hadn’t – he just hadn’t disclosed it. Today they were still in contact and she had sent him a card for his recent Birthday, but hadn’t spoken for a while and I urged Tony to pick up the phone and call her, to ask her out and tell her how he really felt.
What Tony had described, was to me – not really a trust issue, but because there were so many other things failing in their marriage it was convenient to have it as a trigger to end it. They had committed what many couples do and take the other for granted and not talk openly about their feelings, as the fizzle gradually dies – a story, which is repeated all over the country and in continents across the world.
However, Tony’s pride and fear of being rejected again by the person whom he has very deep feelings for, despite their turmoil in the past, has stopped him from making this step. In his words, she had, “dumped him.” My advice - and this is my advice to all who are in similar positions and not with the person who is constantly on their mind and embedded deeply in their hearts, but afraid to take that step in making contact for whatever reason – is to stuff pride and pick up that phone and make the call (unless there is a court order preventing you!). Sure it may be emotionally difficult to do, especially if some time has passed since you last spoke and depending on the circumstances, but the stomach churning anxiety will be worth it. Pride has no place in True Happiness and fears must be confronted to feel FREE and ALIVE!
In Tony’s case, if she said “no” – then at least he would “know” rather than driving himself crazy with his thoughts, even though I also suggested that even if her initial reaction was to say “no” it may not be definitive, as she would ponder, reflect and could, as the proverb goes, change her mind.
If what there was between them was True then there is no reason why it couldn’t be great again and this time round both would be wiser. Importantly, she would at least know how he felt and he wouldn’t be thinking, “what if…” torturously for the remainder of his life. And the same goes for everyone else.
Sometimes Life gifts us a second chance and it is imperative we realise that at the time. No-one wants to look back on their life in 30 to 40 years’ time, all alone and empty inside with 2 (or more) failed marriages or long relationships and deeply regretting not making that call due to fear or pride etc. – a call which could be life-changing! And sure, that prospect can be scary, but isn’t it better to grasp it with both hands, than look back on your life years down the line in remorse and wretchedness, as by then it will be too late…
None of us are perfect – each, as intuitive Maria says, with our own, “little defect,” and at times we may over-react and lose our way and lose our heads, but that is Life’s way of testing us and why you can and should never take others for granted and must take real and visible steps to transmit your feelings and Heal the painful events that may have past (see "The Healing Power of Sand" and "Suicide Blonde"). Equally, no-one has the right to be with anyone – it should be considered a mutual privilege (see "I Believe in Angels"). I don’t have the right to be in a relationship with Maria and her nor me, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t right! Our essence and who we are to each other, is that it would certainly be a breath-taking journey of discovery and spiritual enlightenment should she be able to overcome her fears.
It is important when so much is at stake to be True to your feelings, wishes and dreams. Take a deep breath and pick up that phone, yodel and or tap dance your way into your would-be True lover’s heart and Maria, if you can’t dance, I will lovingly teach you x.
My heart always,
Kisses in red lipstick (yes, really!)
[Also read Isaac's latest post, "The Bobby Ewing Shuffle", the follow up to “True Love at 15000,” an article stirred with beautiful love, showers, dreams and Dallas x... "True Love at 15000", is an article about 'coming of age,' wisdom, dreams and, of course, True Love...]