Picture of a person embracing a bright light from above
Synopsis: Isaac's metaphysical journey over the past 12 months... The prequel article to this is, "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?"
...As we approach the end of a year, many reflect as to where they were 12 months ago and what has transpired since. To reflect upon mistakes made, wonderful times had and maybe some bad times had too. Encompassing that is our spirituality or our religion/ beliefs and what this time of the year really means. I am not religious, but I am spiritual and that spirituality has only been enhanced over the past 12 months as my beliefs, love and loyalties remained absolute (and still do) when faced with a tremendous challenge in my life.
As readers of this blog and indeed my Facebook wall will know I was going through a very tough time, but it was in December last year that I was at my very lowest. I was probably functioning about 10% and in tears pretty much most of the time - I was that low. All of this was a natural progression from a chain of events (The Butterfly Effect) that started in Jan 2010 due to what I believe was a lack of communication between myself and the person I believe wholeheartedly is my soul mate, the wonderful and beautiful modern day Maria (see prequel article, How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?). Due to the events that were transpiring, my heart and spirit had been broken and I was literally knocking on Heaven’s Gates. In other words, I was on my knees. It was a desperate situation.
Yet very positive situations can occur from deeply negative occurrences and I had always believed – due to my knowledge of the truth of the situation and the bigger picture – that this would be the case and which would ultimately result in our reunion. I believe that if you understand the fundamentals (truth) of a situation and can see the bigger picture then you will see the only outcome that is inevitable and before it happens – like looking into the future. Yet, almost a year on since this terrible situation had started it was showing no signs of going away (in fact it was getting worse) and I was shattered and even though these beliefs remained resolute I was in so much pain and heartache that I simply didn’t want to be here anymore and my body and brain were shutting down – even my speech was becoming slurred.
But on 21st Dec 2010 – a year to the day - I was to experience something that in hindsight would mark the beginning of my revival and show me that I was being protected by higher energies. As I say I am not religious and never really thought about Angels before as something that actually existed outside of fabled tales and the Bible of course. However, I was this morning to witness first hand this apparition and this was to trigger a series of events that would save my life and ultimately bring me to where I am today…a much revitalised Isaac! They say that Angels appear at a persons’ lowest point – at their time most in need - to protect and guide them and as I lay awake in bed at 5.45am, tears streaming down my face, I saw a bright light. Initially I thought that was it, as it is well documented that many who are close to dying experience a bright light and they move towards it. I thought it was now my time to go and to be honest I would have gone happily as I was desperately unhappy – I just wanted to be at Peace. But the light I was witnessing, as I seemingly moved closer towards it, proved to be emanating from the body of a beautiful Angel who had come to me with the face of Maria (I was later to research this and it is said Angels will often appear with the face of someone close to the person in need and who they trust). The Angel’s form was as is depicted in many illustrations that you will find on the web and in literature and whilst basking in her glow, I began to feel at peace and restful – all my pain was being taken away and I was being healed.
This experience lasted about 8 minutes and after that I just lay there in panic, not knowing what to do. I was alone in my sister’s flat and was unsure as to what just happened meant and was frightened…Was I actually dying? Do I call an ambulance (999)? What do I do? I decided the best course of action was to text the person who had been in charge of my care over the Summer months, Dr Adrian Lord of the Cygnet Hospital, Harrow – a person who I had built up a rapport and level of trust with. I saw him that day and a couple of days later my family paid for me to be in hospital over this critical period so I spent XMAS and New Year in a private hospital with 2 other patients – not much of a XMAS, but it kept me alive and the food was good – not that I was eating much.
Then in May of this year, the terrible ordeal that started in Jan 2010 ended exactly how I had predicted it would – pretty much to the astonishment of everyone I think - and I was handed my life back. I was still low, but not at those extreme levels...
To be fully recovered Maria and I need to heal each other and though we are yet to speak directly I believe we are well on that path now – a path which will hopefully see our eternal flame rekindled as we embark on a conjoined life full of excitement, happiness and sexual ecstasy :-) and together, I believe, we can do some truly wondrous things and hopefully help many.
It goes to show that if you don’t stop a mistake once realised in its tracks the ripple effects of that mistake can be truly horrendous, but at the same time tremendous positivity from the deep negative is I believe just at its beginning. This blog is now my passion and I would never have created this if it hadn’t been for those 16 months and its success has so far been stunning. Equally I met some truly wonderful people whilst in hospital whom I would never have met if none of this had happened and one of them has a luxury apartment in Malaga, Spain where I have been recovering from time to time as their guest, which equally would never had happened.
I also believe the deep issues behind why this all happened are now solvable which would not have been possible had this situation between us not actually occurred and I had not taken the stance I did to show her just how much I truly care.
Ultimately, this experience has made me believe in destiny and that the Universe is always speaking to you and you just need to listen. It was Maria that told me about the Law of Attraction (The Secret, Rhonda Byrne) – how we can interact with the causal laws of the Universe to make things happen - and I believe in that, except after this episode in my life, I believe whatever outcome happens has already been pre-destined. Yes of course tough times will happen and sometimes they are beyond our control and you just have to step back and trust, as Steve Jobs says, that the dots connect ultimately in a positive manner, whether that be in your life or the impacted life of others. To me now everything is written and the key to unlocking the mysteries of life and understanding those outcomes before they happen are within each and every one of us – you just need to really want it, be prepared for sacrifice and trust in who you are as a human being; To not be afraid to go against the grain and to think differently…
Finally, I would just like to thank my amazing family and friends who have showed me so much love and who worked tirelessly and sacrificed so much to protect me that equally none of this would be possible without them and which has also brought us much closer together as a family – another powerful positive x.
Life is fun again and I have my mojo back :-)x…
Merry XMAS xx
[Also read Isaac's latest post, "True Love at 15000", an article about 'coming of age,' wisdom, dreams and, of course, True Love...; "Let's Face the Music and Dance", the follow up to, "The Lonely Goatherd," and an insightful look at relationships and the lessons to be learned from our elders; "Scream and Shout", exploring Love at Xmas Time... Let it ALL OUT!; "Naked Fishes", a Birthday celebration of theSarayiahpost.com's Modern Day heroine, Maria; "Suicide Blonde", an unbridled account of how Isaac’s world collapsed and why he is still alive today to tell his story; "A Journey Becomes One", an article full of Heart & Love as Isaac Sarayiah Celebrates becoming a "Little Daddy," "Land of Hope and Glory - The London 2012 Games" Isaac's view on the London 2012 Olympic Games, "Healing Power of Sand," Isaac's guide to Healing the Mind, Body and Spirit of Life’s stresses and emotional complexities and provide a path to True Happiness and Love, "The Naked Countess - Interview Inclusive", "A Mother's Love", "Staying Alive", "A Celebration of Life" and "The Lonely Goatherd", Isaac Sarayiah's Valentine's Day article on True Love x]